My apologies

On my drive home from the gym today I was reflecting on what a whirlwind the past 8 months of been…. Eight months ago I decided to take PDXstrength to a new level, actually it was  not  my decision really at all. The amazing group of hard working, awesome ,caring and supportive people  that take my classes, took this whole PDXstrength thing to another level. I’ve been trying to chase them, and keep up with this snowballing force of positivity that has overcome my life…..

Eight months ago I came to a cross road. It was time  to make a tough decision.  Leave a  steady paycheck and safe environment, working for another company, not  able to  entirely express what my true beliefs and passion of fitness were, but stable without any worries or responsibilities.  Or chase my life long dream of running, owning, operating my own fitness facility and programs. A place where I could really be creative and put my true passion and ideal fitness philosophies into something I truly believed in? The choice became obvious the longer PDXstrength was in existence. We were thriving, but needed more, our own place, our own  home, and finally this life long dream, this vision has truly come into fruition. In 10 days my lifelong goal will be a reality. It’s really starting to hit me, I’m going to own my whole entire gym, a place for everyone to chase their dreams and goals. A place for everyone to become their best, feel comfortable, have fun and find their inner athlete.

After thinking more and more about how all of this has just organically grown and naturally evolved… I also started to think about how much my life has changed. In exchange for chasing this dream,  I’ve also unfortunately paid a price.  I’ve been putting my heart, my soul, every penny, every drop of sweat into making PDXstrength what it is. But in return  I’ve neglected my friends, my family my boyfriend, even my dogs. I’ve been selfishly devoting every thought, every minute… to PDXstrength.

I’m not sure what really happened along the way, I didn’t intentionally mean to let my friendships slip, not have any free time to spend with my boyfriend, or even take a few minute out of my day to call my Mom. I supposed I’ve become obsessed, 100 percent devoted, but I can’t keep this up forever…..

I’m so thrilled and excited, but also there’s something lingering in the back of my mind that makes this all bittersweet . Without my friends, my family, my boyfriend,  all of this wouldn’t of happened…. I know that this push is still occupying every second of my life, but I had an epiphany today driving home.   I’ve got to find more of a balance. I want  to spend time with my friends, laugh with my dogs, share my life with my parents, stay in contact with my brothers and spend time with my boyfriend without constantly replying to texts, emails….

Now the next challenge is to figure all this shit   out. I’m new to owning my own business, and I knew that taking this on,  would require sacrifice. But I’m not ready to accept that this will be the way it is, so my first step is to apologize.

My second step is to make more of an effort toward becoming a well rounded person who is able to have balance and make the people who are important in my life a priority too.  I’m not sure yet what my plan will be, but by apologizing and recognizing my faults, I hope to make some steps to turn things around.

In 10 days, PDXstrength will open it’s doors….  I’m nervous, scared and so fucking excited I can’t even express it in words. But I want to share this whole experience and dream with the people that matter to me most.


I’m sorry, I’ll do better. I promise




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